Journal #1: Long Time No Post
It’s been a while since I logged into my blog to do any writing. I lost all motivation and inspiration and didn’t feel like forcing myself to write. Whenever I do that, the writing seems very forced and reads like I’m trying to imitate someone. I was trying to keep my blog focused on certain topics, and ignored everything else that I might want to write about. So, I think I want to turn my focus to general lifestyle instead of mostly food/drink driven. I won’t feel so constrained and hopefully, ideas will come to me more easily. I’ve been debating about renaming the blog, but I’m terrible at coming up with titles and the like, so for now, I’m keeping it.
Beyond the writer’s block, I’ve been debating about finding a new job. Hours at work fluctuate wildly and a little more stability in my finances would be great. I did actually interview and was offered a position elsewhere. Ultimately, I chose to stay where I am (for the moment). My seniority, schedule flexibility, and good relationships with management ultimately led me to the decision of staying put. I know that I feel safe with this job, though the idea of change is both appealing and terrifying. Trying to decide whether to accept the new job left me feeling beyond stressed and anxious. It’s hard to say if it was the right choice, but it’s a decision I know I can live with.
On top of all that, I just feel really constrained where I’m living. I enjoy and appreciate being able to live with my parents – it’s also been a huge financial help to me. But it would be nice to have a place that is completely my own. I feel stuck and not being able to do anything due to the pandemic hasn’t helped. The goal is to be out on my own by fall of next year. I can’t decide if I should give California a second chance or try somewhere on the East Coast.
I know I’ll get back to feeling normal soon, but it can be hard to be positive when the negative is right in your face. But it’s been nice to sit down and just be able to write without it feeling like a chore. Revamping the blog is a good way to celebrate it’s one year anniversary. It won’t be instantaneous, but I refuse to give up on it.
Stay safe everyone!